Yesterday we went for a day sail with friends of ours.  The boat was heeling at what felt like a 45 degree angle and we were flying at about 10 knots.  We were passing other sailboats that were out for the day.  

The wind was in my hair.  I could have leaned over and touched the waves with my hands.  

But instead I was sick.  Yep, I get seasick.  

My stomach was a bit queasy and the captain, being a professional off shore racer and boat delivery captain, told me to take the helm.  

He instructed me to keep my eyes at a point on land and steer the boat towards that point.  And don’t take my eyes off the spot.  

I was concentrating and working so hard on keeping the boat on course in the rough waters that I didn’t have time to think about how I was feeling.  

Three hours later we had docked, shared a bottle of wine, and said goodbye.  

As we started walking down the dock, I started feeling sick again.  My legs were wobbly, my stomach didn’t feel right.  We walked over to the local store across the street where we sat down for an hour before taking the dinghy back to our boat.  

And our boat was rocking too.  

What do you do when you want the comfort of your home, but it’s rocking and can’t give you comfort?

Stephen said the winds were supposed to die down to about 12 knots throughout the night.  

Great.  That means another sleepless night for me.  

You see, the gentle rocking of the boat makes me tired and puts me to sleep, like a baby being rocked to sleep in a cradle.  But when the waves are really rocking the boat and slapping against the transom, I wake up and can’t get back to sleep.  And that’s what happened last night.  And last nights wind was only 7 knots.

The rough rocking woke me up at 2 am, and kept rocking hard until 6 am.  I had only gotten 2 hours of sleep.

The thought of having another sleepless night when my stomach was not completely settled from a rough day sailing was hard to swallow.

We had a decision to make.  

Do we stay at this rough anchorage for one more night and move in the morning when the sea is calmer?

Or

Do we move now to a more secluded and protected spot even though it’ll take us over two and a half hours which means we will arrive after sunset and have to navigate and anchor in the dark in a new area we’ve never been to.

It was 6:30, and the charts showed a two and a half hour journey at 6 knots.  The sunset was noted at 8:43….if we left now we’d just make it before dark.

We decided to make a run for it.  

But pulling up anchor isn’t exactly like starting a car and pulling out of the driveway.  We had to tie up the dinghy, transfer the course to the main navigation system, secure everything down below, close the hatches…

We pulled up anchor and left at 7 pm.  We would be arriving 45 minutes after sunset.

I was already tired from lack of sleep the night before, exhausted and a bit nauseous from the day sail, and a bit scared about arriving and anchoring at night.  

I started to freak out as we turned into the channel.  I held on tight as the boat heeled from one side to the other.  I started crying as the bow dipped down towards the water and the waves crashed over the boat.  And I almost said we should turn around and go back.

I took deep breathes and told myself to calm down.  I put my life jacket on and clipped myself to the boat.  I laid down.  

And I started to relax a bit.  I still cried… how could I get so seasick and anxious when Stephen is so calm?  How could this beautiful way of life cause my body so much turmoil?

The time seemed to be going so slow as we sailed and rocked through the waves. How can I last another minute feeling like this?

I sat up and saw a line of cargo ships in the distance, and the bridge farther out.  I could see the chart at the nav station below and could see we weren’t headed that way, but we kept getting closet to them.

And as I kept holding onto the boat and watching the chart below, I could see we were halfway to our destination.  And then 3/4 of the way…and then about to make a turn left towards land.  Finally!!

But Stephen made a sharp right turn instead.  I freaked out again.  “What are you doing?  Where are you going?"  I asked.

“It’s safer to turn this way,” he said.

Tears streamed down my face again as we made a 270 degree turn in the rough seas, way too fast, and way too close to the green buoy for my comfort.  

The boat bounced around and around.  The mainsail was flapping back and forth and I thought that the wind could shift at any moment and crash us into the buoy.

Stephen straightened the course and got passed the buoy where we tried to pull in the sail- but it wouldn’t budge in the strong wind. 

We sailed a bit further and the wind and seas calmed down a bit, enough for us to get the sail in and motor to the anchorage.

And as it got darker and darker, I stayed on watch, looking for buoys and crab pots for Stephen to steer clear of.  They seemed to be all over the place, and hard to see in the dark.

Finally Stephen slowed down, dropped and set the anchor.  It was about 9:30 pm and pitch black.  

I was numb.  I went down below as Stephen secured the boat upstairs.  

Things had been knocked all over the place.  Our navigation notes and books had flown off the desk and onto the floor.  Drawers were open, towels had fallen off the railings, clothes off the shelves…  

And all I could do was lay down.  

I laid there feeling my feelings and let out those last tears of anxiety.

Those 2 1/2 hours that seemed to take so long while in the moment, seemed like a distant memory now.  It now all seemed to have gone by so fast, like it hadn’t even happened.

Life is like that.  Time marches on whether we are anxious or calm, happy or sad, enjoying life or letting it pass us by.  

Time marches on whether we stay in a rough anchorage all night, or move the boat to a safer one.

Both choices involved taking risks.  

We chose the one that would be risky for 2 1/2 hours for a calm and restful night.  

What decisions are you making?  

Are you choosing to stay in a place that’s rocky because you fear the unknown? 

Do you think of turning back around when the seas get rough or obstacles get thrown in your way?

Or are you choosing to take risks to get to calmer seas?

We can help you make the right decision for you.  Click below to schedule a call with us.

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