Is the dream life you want sitting and watching others have fun?

Mary Beth and I took our dingy over to The Tiki Bar on Solomon’s Island on the Chesapeake yesterday.  Soon After sitting down for a bite to eat we were inundated by bikers and busses coming in. 

We happened to be there during a HOG (Harley Davidson Owners Group) opening ceremonies party.  There were people from all over the country.  I don’t think one of them was under 50.  

Many wore biker outfits, big heavy boots, jeans, vests with bike club names and patches all over them.  They were not the burly mean looking, intimidating characters that paint our imagination you see on TV.  Shocker there!  

Neither did they appear to be wild and free spirits.  Instead they seemed a bit tired, and worn out from everyday life as accountants, and lawyers, and shop owners, and parents.

I was surprised how many looked tired like they had had a difficult life.  Some could barely walk never mind ride a bike.

A live band started playing 80’s and 90’s music.  

Everyone was sitting down enjoying the music and tapping their feet and I figured any minute they would all get up and start dancing and hooping and hollering, but no.  

The lead singer even tried multiple times to get people up and exited and moving but no one got up. 

I can’t keep my feet from moving when I hear music so we started dancing as soon as the music started and only one woman got up and danced with Mary Beth and I, as she tried to coax her husband up to dance.  Then she even sat down.

Why can’t we live life the way we want and not be concerned with what others think of us?  

As I have matured I have grown to be mostly unaffected by the way “I think others see me.”  

Do you know why?  

Because I have come to realize that other people don’t care what I look like or how I act, or how goofy I dance or sing or what I am dressed like.  

Ironically, most people are so self absorbed with how they think they look, act and behave and are perceived by other’s then to judge others.  

And the people who raise their eyebrows, or give a look of disapproval are only doing so because they are judging themselves so harshly because they can’t get the courage to stand out.

So what does this mean?

It means to stop living your life based on what you think others think about you!

You have no idea what people are thinking, and it’s not your business to know.

Stop wasting your energy!

What is really holding you back is you!  Your self doubt, anxiety, uncomfortableness, and self judgment.  

What we see in others is what we see in ourselves.  It’s called projecting.  

It’s like everywhere you look you are holding a mirror in front of your vision so instead of seeing the external world, you are seeing your own reflection which is creating your reality and feeding you self sabotaging thoughts.

So how do we stop doing this?

It takes time and effort to become aware of our own thoughts.  But it is time well spent because our subconscious thoughts create our reality which causes our behaviors, which become habits and ultimately become our lives.

How do I stop those thoughts?  Well you can't really stop them.  They are a part of you just as are thoughts that bring you happiness and joy.  

They have a practical place in your life.  Isn’t fear an extreme form of caution?  Could doubt keep you safe from a potentially dangerous situation?  

The problem arises when these thoughts or any thoughts unconsciously control your life. 

The cure…. Well let’s not clarify this as a cure since that would lead to a diagnosis of an illness and let me tell you,

YOU ARE NOT SICK…..YOU DO NOT NEED A CURE.

What you do need is to learn self awareness. I have learned to be self aware through Karate, Yoga and Meditation.  They have helped me also become more relaxed and patient which has changed my life. 

Have you stayed sitting at a party or didn’t get up to sing karaoke, or wear your favorite colored outfit because you were worried about “what people would think?”

Tell me what is a new awareness you have from reading this article?  

We would love to know how it helps you. 

© Myce, LLC 2022.  All Rights Reserved.